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Dear Ryan


The column where I take the time to answer pressing questions that nobody asked me.  In fact, they actually asked other people, and I decided to chime in.  See how we’re all happier now?

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for a number of years, and were close friends before dating. We have lived together for 10 months now and pretty much act like a married couple. I feel I am ready to become engaged.

He, on the other hand, feels we should wait until his 16-year-old daughter, “Lacy,” moves out — either back with her mother or on her own. He doesn’t feel it’s “right” for us to marry before then.

We are both adults, and while I don’t want to disregard Lacy’s feelings, I think this is something WE should decide. We have told her many times that our relationship doesn’t mean Daddy loves her any less.

Something in me is beginning to think he’s just making excuses and he won’t “buy the cow” as long as he’s getting the milk for free. I feel like I am … FLOATING IN LIMBO IN DELAWARE

Dear Limbo-Champ,

So his daughter is fine with you living with the two of them, and playing house, but not fine with you two getting married?

Isn’t the typical story that the child of divorced parents holds out hope for the folks to get back together?  If his daughter is this close to adulthood and is fine with living in the house where you two do the bippity-bop together, I doubt she’s the roadblock here.

The way I see it, one of two thing could be in play here.  Either it is important to him that you two get his daughter’s blessing, or HE is the one hoping the parents get back together.

Shacking up is a commitment, marriage is a contract, unless your partner doesn’t feel the same way.  I’d try to figure out which of these is the truth and solve it.

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